| I'm not a happy person | |||
|
Wednesday, April 21, 2004 ( 8:12 PM ) oboemuse I'd like, however, now to dwell on my evil sister for a time. A cheeful seemingly intelligent individual. She is bright, pretty, capable, and apparently clueless. As a child I looked up to her and admired her greatly. She was 8 years older and left (to go to college) when I was only 10. And then she got pregnant and had a baby when I was 11. The baby was beautiful (of course, because she was). I wasn't pissed off about that. It was very exciting to have a baby in the family, although my mother seemed pretty pissed off about it. Of course, it was 1962 so I'm sure she was worried about what the neighbors would think. I know that this sister had a very difficult time of it because my mother was really hurtful to her by not giving her any support, by hating her husband, and I suspect, even ridiculing the children sometimes. She was not the most forgiving of people, and the evil sister had embarrassed her by becoming a pregnant teen. And maybe the reason she doesn't want to see my mom, or be more involved in her care is because she's paying her back for the way mom treated her after she had her children. Still, I can't help feeling resentful that she doesn't visit or call mom more often. She seems to think - well, who the hell knows what she really thinks... but it seems to me that she thinks that she doesn't have to go see her mother but every 6 months or so. Oh, yeah, our mom is in an assisted living place because it was getting more and more difficult for her to be alone on the farm (remember the farm - the recent methamphetamine lab?). She moved into an assisted living place after a visit to the Emergency room because she was having difficulty breathing. The reason that she was having difficulty breathing is because she smoked for 50 years. That pisses me off. She had a stroke in 1998 and that pisses me off too. When my mom went to the Emergency Room because she was having trouble breathing because she smoked for 50 years because she had run out of her prescription which she forgot to get refilled because she had a stroke and forgets things - my evil sister (who will try to make you think she is a really wonderful person because of her cheerful disposition) left on a two week vacation leaving the good sister and me to take care of everything which included: Because this sister also takes care of the money end of things for mom (WHAT ARE WE THINKING???) she left on this vacation without providing any funds for us. There was no money for us to deal with to find mom a place and get her situated. Man, that really pissed me off. The Good Sister and I ended up spending thousands of dollars out of our own funds to take care of getting her into a good place. We did get reimbursed but it was not until months after this happened. I was so pissed off at the evil sister that even now, nearly a year later, I can barely stand to be in the same place at the same time with her. There were times when I knew my mother was proud of me. There were times when I knew my mother was jealous of me. There were times when I knew my mother was embarassed by me. I wanted her to love me unconditionally which I think she could never really do. And I don't think it was so much a rejection as it was an inability. She always seemed to want to praise both of my other two sisters, and frankly, I was pretty jealous of that. That certainly might account for a good portion of the cruelty I inflicted upon my good sister while we were growing up. I think I was wanting my mom to praise and adore me like I felt she was loving my two other sisters. Little did I know that my other two sisters were probably thinking the same thing about that - wishing they got more acceptance and love from our mother. And maybe our mother was wanting to get more acceptance and love from HER mother. Man, doesn't it just piss you off how these things go on and on and on? Maybe she was as pissed off as I am. This week the evil sister called to say she'd like to have my mom over to her house for mother's day if she could find a ride for her. What she was asking was ' would the good sister be available to drive her up to her house (about 75 miles) ?' Well, the good sister works on Sundays, and she (as previously noted) doesn't get paid if she doesn't work. The evil sister asked if she thought I might be interested in bringing mom, but of course, by now, we all know the answer to that one. She didn't speak to me directly; I won't converse with her. I do answer in mono-syllables, and I will call her when something comes up with mom that she needs to know about (which TOTALLY pisses me off because she should KNOW about things with my mom, and WOULD know about things with my mom if she spent a modicum of time with her), but I won't initiate or elaborate on any information because, really, what's the point? She is unreliable, and expecting her to do something (even something as simple as visiting her mother once a week - or even once a month!! just results in disappointment so why bother expecting or even asking anything. So the point here, though, is that even on the one day that she would deign mom with her presence (Mother's Day for godsake!) she can't figure out the logistics of how to get together. This is not an unsucessful person. She has a good job, makes a lot of money, owns at least 2 vehicles with her husband, owns a large bit of property, and a 5 bedroom house. She is nearer in distance to mom than she was before mom went to this assisted living place, but she still doesn't visit her. You'd think that she could spend even ONE day a month, HELL! one AFTERNOON with her. My poor mother always asks about her, and it's pathetic and it makes me sad for her, but I feel extreme anger at my sister. What can she be thinking about? # |
|
||
